The reputation of Americans traveling abroad – especially in Europe – precedes them. And, unfortunately, that reputation isn’t a great one. Too often we’re the biggest and the brashest in the room. You walk into a crowded space, and it’s American English you hear spoken above the rest. When you identify the source, you see someone in a golf shirt and billowing khakis (or leggings on the ladies) and running shoes that have never endured more than a lumbering walk. I’m stereotyping, of course. But I’ve heard Americans summed up by European travel professionals as demanding (requesting expensive Tequila in a Balkan country), alcoholic and unable to handle their intake, deliberately deaf to recommended, lesser-known attractions (preferring a laser-sharp focus on capturing Instagramable moments), and tone-deaf to the subtleties of local culture and society. It sounds stereotypical, and if I’ve offended anyone, good. Because we’re exporting a regrettable reputation for poorly-attired obesity, an arrogant we’re-still-the-best-country-in-the-world, know-it-all attitude, and a lack of culture that has more to do with courtesy and politeness (and, well, the regrettable legacy of McDonald’s and Starbucks) than history and art.
Of course, there are exceptions to this. No statistics exist on the number of Americans who behave well when abroad and those who behave like boors, although there are occasional references in European media to American superiority (namely, that our attitude hasn’t realigned with our diminishing status in the world) and YouTube videos that showcase European observations (usually, and justifiably, negative) of Americans. But instead of assuming that all Americans once outside their own country behave like idiots, let’s take the view that for some, a little more effort never hurt anyone, and for others, that there is some serious work to do.
Here are five suggestions on how to travel abroad – especially in Europe – that should help minimize harm to the environment and help improve the reputation of all Americans. For those terminally short of time, I’ve summed them up here. You’ll get more out of it, though, if you take a few minutes to read to the end.
- Don’t be the loudest in the room
- Don’t assume everyone speaks English (or that they’re happy to see you, for that matter)
- Don’t compare everything to home
- Don’t just go to Paris and think you’ve been to France
- Don’t think by traveling to Europe you’ve pulled a reverse-Columbus
1. Don’t be the loudest in the room
This isn’t just about having the booming voice of American English that drowns out every other sound around you. It isn’t even about speaking with authority on every subject and having the confidence to boldly assert your views on everything, including politics and religion. You just don’t want to be the person who believes (or is seen to believe) they are the first American the Johnny foreigner you’re talking to has ever encountered. It may be a rite-of-passage for everyone traveling abroad for the first time to take very seriously that they are a diplomat of their nation (nothing inherently wrong in that), but they then go on to exaggerate the importance of this (often aided by alcohol) to the level of a first encounter with aliens from another galaxy. Your intentions are good. Just dial it back a bit.
I also recommend having a rethink about what you wear while traveling. In hot countries, it is not always a given that men wear shorts (I was laughed at by school children in Malaysia for wearing shorts). I won’t go into the details of various dress codes, usually religious and especially targeted at women, but I will mention a few social norms. In Europe, for example, the American tourist costume is not appropriate for all occasions. It’s worth making the effort to have a few articles of clothing that would allow you to fit in with local society. I’m not suggesting that you go native. What I do recommend, however, is to have some sensitivity for how people dress. Locals might prefer not to see your abundantly hairy legs at the dinner table or your running shoes at a flamenco lesson.
2. Don’t assume everyone speaks English (or that they’re happy to see you, for that matter)
There’s a special pride people take in the language they speak. If Esperanto were anyone’s mother tongue, they would tell you that it’s not as easy to learn as everyone thinks. Even if it’s a little white lie, tell natives that you are trying or have tried to learn their language (with obvious exceptions, of course. In case you’re traveling in Basque country, for example) and that you’re hopeless. Then ask them if they speak English. If they don’t, smile and back out gracefully. It happens all the time. If they do, they might not admit to it readily. Many people will be overly modest about their ability. Persevere with politeness. Some – once they get warmed up – might start rolling out English words with more syllables than you can manage. You will be forgiven your ignorance of their language and you will often receive far more than what you asked for if you show the simple courtesy of asking first if they speak English.
Many relish the opportunity to practice their English. But never assume this. At the end of the conversation, always remember to thank them for speaking English. This has the surprisingly pleasing effect of leaving them with the belief that you sincerely appreciated their effort. And it reduces the sense of remorse you have for being too lazy to ever learn another language.
It’s also worth keeping in mind, that it might not be you who is warmly welcomed to the country you’re visiting, but your money. There are countries which view tourism as a necessary evil. They do want them to come in droves, they complain while they’re there (or worry at a national-news level if they don’t), take their money hand over fist, and can’t wait to see the back of them. So, get used to the fact that you may deal with indifferent, even rude, service providers (this is where the American customer-is-always-right attitude will fail you). And you might benefit from a cultural subtlety that is difficult to process: for the worker bees (I’m not contradicting myself here – think restaurant staff who don’t get American-sized tips), they don’t actually give a damn about your money.
3. Don’t compare everything to home
This seems to be a common human trait, so it’s fair to say that this isn’t a regrettable behavior found only among the American form of the species. But that doesn’t make it okay. Especially if you’re one of those Americans who feels compelled to point out to every non-American who has the misfortune to enter into a conversation with you that what we got in America is just as good, if not better.
There’s a joke about the taxi driver taking an American from the airport into the capital. When the American asks about prominent buildings they pass, he is told by the driver what each one is. And for each one, the American responds that they have the same thing in America, built bigger, better, and faster. When they come to a resplendent, thousand-year-old cathedral at the center of town and the American asks about that one, the taxi driver says, “I don’t know. It wasn’t here this morning.”
I’ll leave it at that.
4. Don’t just go to Paris and think you’ve been to France
This point is neither about Paris nor France. But it does relate to the iconic image of the Eiffel Tower used whenever the mention of Paris or France is made. Often, it is used to denote all of Europe. This emoji-like shortcut underscores the sad reality that too many Americans believe they have experienced Europe after spending a few days in each of the major European capitals – let’s go with London, Paris, Rome, Amsterdam, Berlin – and cross Europe off their bucket list. In fact, what I’ve learned after eighteen years living in Europe is that the two- and three-month backpacking tours I took at a young age were woefully insufficient to even scratch the surface of understanding and appreciating Europe.
That’s not to say that every American must spend years abroad. What I am saying is that it’s important to understand the distinction. It would benefit you and those subjected to you after your return from a sojourn abroad if you display some modesty about what you saw and learned on your travels. After the time I’ve spent in Europe, I consider myself somewhat knowledgeable about a few of the countries I’ve lived in but no expert. I wouldn’t pontificate about Europe or the European experience. I’m still discovering the many layers of this life and how different it is from American ways. It’s a lifetime effort, a journey that offers many rewards – and one that will end only with my demise.
5. Don’t think by traveling to Europe you’ve pulled a reverse-Columbus
I’ve touched on the intent of this in the previous suggestion, but it’s worth going into a bit more detail here. I was guilty of this several decades ago when I first traveled abroad. Before a trip to the Soviet Union, the only country outside the US I had visited was Mexico. And those were just border crossings from Texas. So, when I made the school trip to the USSR, I came unglued. What was gratifying about it was that, as a naive young man, I observed everything with the acute vision of a child, the way you imagine a puppy sees the world in its first few months. Addresses were written on envelopes backwards to the way we wrote them. There were no disposable cups available at the beer vending machines, only a single glass mug that was spritzed with water and shared. War veterans and literary figures were venerated. I came home wide-eyed with wonder and blathered endlessly to everyone about the experience. My parents tolerated it; friends, less so.
Not only is this insidious belief that you are the first to plant the American flag on European soil a nuisance to friends and family, it also has a habit of infiltrating how you behave when you’re abroad. I destroyed a friendship by convincing a good friend to join me on a three-week journey through Europe. From the start, I was deaf to his preferences, because I was the expert. One week in, we split. It’s a painful memory of shameful behavior I still regret today.
Behave.
This is the 21st century. None of us can be a Goethe or Byron, embarking on a Grand Tour worthy of being shared with the world. It’s important to keep in mind that we are, instead, just another American with a backpack, dressed in khakis, schlepping through Europe on the same well-worn paths of American generations that went before. Only now there are more of us. So, keep your voice down, ask your server first if they speak English before asking about something on the menu, and revel in everything that is different about where you are. Just be there, experience it, and forget about what it will look like on Instagram.
If you’re interested in where I am at the moment, you can find me here on Instagram.